I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The air was thick with penises
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
