Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
