They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
