Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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