Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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