Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
