just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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