she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
