I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
