I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
