I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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