ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
