that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
