This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
