i was born a porn star she said
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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