And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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