He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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