So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I am one with the molecules
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
