it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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