so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
