remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
