Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
