I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
