just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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