Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
