I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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