no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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