Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
