I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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