I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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