my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Are we still banned from the library?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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