Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Every concussion has its silver lining
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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