So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
