he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
