you traded sex for a burrito?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
