I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
