The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You're like the curious george of whores
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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