real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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