i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
