i would punch a child for taco bell
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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