I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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