Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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