Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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