why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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