shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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