i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The power of my boobs compel you
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
