oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
