I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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