I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
