Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
