let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
