i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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