he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
