You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
