Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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