my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
