Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Your cock deserves a montage
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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