i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
