White coat. Heels.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
