After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
they're like a gay fantastic four
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You ruined the universe
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
