Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
