jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize