I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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