We're facebook friends in real life
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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